When Wonder Breaks In

I was supposed to be working.

Instead, I found myself staring out of my window watching the leaves on a tree dance gracefully in the wind. I was mesmerized so I made myself a cup of tea and turned on some music to fit the mood (I highly recommend Tony Anderson's music. Think "Narnia the Musical"). Then I returned to my observing.

After a while, I closed my eyes and let the music fill my soul. Have you ever noticed that this kind of listening seems to alter your breathing patterns? I did. It was as though my subconscious was trying to find an internal rhythm that was in step with the peaceful, sounds coming from my phone.

There's a word for this experience, you know–when suddenly, an ordinary moment carries something of the wonderment of God's Presence. The word is numinous. The authors I love most are brilliant at helping us to experience numinous moments through story: CS Lewis when writing the Narnia series, Francis Hodgson Burnett who wrote The Secret Garden, and anything that George MacDonald ever put to paper.

When I started my tea company...

I was in the middle of a season of severe burnout. Most of my early magazines were written from a place of learning how to support my biological needs in order to get well–to come back to myself. I'm an avid researcher and seem to be pretty good at connecting the dots. And, I wanted to share that information with others who might be on the same journey. So, in those early editions, you will find short articles on trauma-related issues, how to support a body on over-drive, and several other health conscious topics written through the context of wholeness.

However, I've run into a bit of a snag when it comes to writing the next one. I am still writing about how to support our health needs, and this one, in particular, was quite eye-opening for me when it comes to the relationship between Fibromyalgia and ADHD. (More on that later). That is not what snagged.

Recovering Ourselves

The reality is that I need to change the magazine format somewhat to fit my current season. Because, here's the kicker. As I'm recovering, I'm not the person I learned to be in order to do all the things required of me. Instead, I find myself returning to the real person who just got buried under all the things life had thrown her way.

The one who loves quiet, but needs a monthly hiking adventure. The adult who still reads fairytales because they enrich us by filling our hearts with goodness, kindness, and courage. And, because fairytales prepare us for when real life dragons show up. The person who believes that real strength is not measured by an outward show of toughness and having it all together. Rather, she believes that strength is shown through a meek and compassionate spirit who is willing to enter into the suffering of another.

And subsequently, the one who loves to write in ways that help others experience freedom and wholeness.

I am praying that as I write the next issue, God will show up in His numinous ways. Because its His delight to lift us up out of the pits we often find ourselves trapped in. And its the joy of His heart to meet with us in unexpected ways as we watch leaves dance on a tree or listen to soulful music. And, of course, He uses words to speak deeply, yet tenderly, to us–both His own words and the words of those who have experienced that numinous sense of wonder themselves.

I guess today, Father did most of the work...